Suddenly
by Franny Moon
Summary: Just how much happiness Kaworu brought to Shinji for the few moments they spent together..."Thre once was infinite Darkness, infinite loneliness, but suddenly there was light..." YaoiShounen ai slash (whatever you call it)


To my beautiful Chris Martin replica. Because he said we'd see each other  
again but we never did.  
  
~Suddenly~  
(A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction by Franny Moon)  
  
There once was infinite darkness.  
Infinite loneliness.  
Too many cold hands pushing me around.  
Manipulating me like a lifeless doll.  
Index fingers pointing at me accusingly or indicating the wrong path.  
Too many familiar faces that wore no smile.  
Too many people who could've care but didn't bother to.  
  
// Help me... Help me... Please... I need you to help me!//  
  
There once was infinite pain.  
Infinite sadness.  
Too many tears shed quietly in the night.  
Sobs and whimpers breaking the silence to fall into deaf ears.  
Coldness everywhere; in the icy glares, the unfeeling hearts and even in  
the only place I ever brought myself to call home.  
Too many memories that I wished to forget.  
Too many people who denied me the help I needed.  
  
//I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!//  
  
And just when I was about to collapse...  
Just when I was about to break down...  
To lose my grip on sanity...  
  
//I... I can't take anymore! Make it stop... STOP!//  
  
Suddenly there was light.  
So bright that I should've been blinded.  
But I wasn't, because it felt so good.  
  
//The darkness is finally gone!//  
  
Suddenly there was warmth.  
So comforting and comfortable.  
Chasing the excruciating coldness.  
  
// Let me curl up in the warmth... Let me feel human again.//  
  
Suddenly there was a smile.  
So tender that my heart ached.  
But such a sweet and needed aching.  
  
//This... this must be pain... and yet it's so painful that it feels good.  
It feels so good.//  
  
Suddenly there was a voice.  
So soothing that I could feel the pieces of my broken heart become one  
again.  
Oh! and it felt so good.  
  
//A voice finally calling my name in a soft tone!//  
  
Suddenly there was a song.  
So pure and healing, making me want to both smile and cry.  
Inventing in me a new feeling mixing blissful joy and sheer despair.  
  
// The song is man's greatest achievement(1)...//  
  
Suddenly there was a pair of eyes.  
So caring and yet so intriguing.  
An unusual friendliness shining in their unusual but oh so gorgeous color.  
  
//The color of blood. Let me drown into them. Those two deep oceans of  
blood.//  
  
Suddenly there was hand.  
So soft and warm.  
Providing the caresses I've been craving for.  
  
//A hand to pull me out of the cold water I was forced into so I could  
breath again.//  
  
Suddenly there was an embrace.  
So welcoming that I felt like sobbing into it.  
Crying for the absolute bliss it made me feel.  
  
//Human touch! Warm human touch! I forgot how good it felt!//  
  
Suddenly there was happiness.  
So unexpected I didn't dare to believe it could be true.  
And yet I knew I'd never let go of it without a fight.  
  
//Is this really happening? If it's a dream I don't want to wake up ever  
again.//  
  
Suddenly there was a friend.  
So lovely that I couldn't help but smile in his presence.  
Eager to listening when I needed to talk.  
  
//A friend? Only a friend no.. no I need more... Please!//  
  
Suddenly there was a love.  
So exquisite and delightful.  
Enveloping my heart in a warm blanket.  
  
//I love you too! Thank you! I love you! I love you!//  
  
Suddenly there was a lover.  
So beautiful and gentle that it moved me.  
Touching me in places I never thought I'd be touched.  
  
//It feels... aah! So good! Keep touching me! Keep proving me that it's  
real. You're real//  
  
Suddenly there was hope.  
So strong and powerful.  
Hope for a better future.  
  
//Keep smiling. Keep holding my hand and the world is going to be a better  
place.//  
  
Suddenly there was a reason to fight.  
So essential and yet missing until that day.  
And I just knew that fighting wouldn't be so bad from now on.  
  
//I can make it. With you by my side I know I can make it.//  
  
Suddenly there was Kaworu...  
  
//Kaworu-kun...//  
  
Bright, comforting, tender, soothing, pure, caring, soft, welcoming,  
unexpected, lovely, exquisite, beautiful, strong and essential Kaworu.  
  
//I love you Kaworu-Kun...//  
  
____________________________________________________________  
  
(1) I know Kaworu said something like that. "The song is the lillin's  
greatest achievement." If I can remember well... I just couldn't have  
Shinji say Lillin... it just seemed wrong to me...  
  
(A/N): Well I didn't mean to be that... cryptic... I guess it ended up  
looking like some kind of poetry. It wasn't meant to be poetry or anything  
of the sort. My point was just to let people see how Kaworu made Shinji  
feel good and happy for a few hours. I wanted to make it longer and  
continue with something like "But then there suddenly was betrayal, murder  
and death..." but I wanted to keep it wonderfully blissful... The whole  
thing is from Shinji's point of view but the lines between each paragraph  
( the //...// thingies) are short glimpses of Shinji's confused mind. 


End file.
